I have to say that these past two weeks have been a very exciting and busy time and while I do have several blogs in progress I do not yet have any of them finished. After finalizing my new digs, I had to find a bank, find health insurance, contact my car insurance, clean out my entire life and decide what’s coming with me, change my mailing address with the entire world, get my car checked out and the list goes on and on does it not? One thing I can say for sure is that I have been at the feet of God begging for discernment and confirmation throughout this entire ordeal and I thought I’d share a few things with you because it is awesome and not all that often when you ask Almighty God for something and He delivers immediately.
As always, I have to take you back to the beginning. It was Thursday, June 14th and I was going insane with worry. I mean I was seriously starting to question this whole move because I simply could not find a roommate due to my location. That night, I begged God to let the next puzzle piece fall if this move is right and good for me. The very next day I had three roommate options. I felt in my heart that this was God saying a gigantic YES in regards to Los Angeles and that it’s not some stupid dream I’m chasing, but is instead an actual part of God’s plan for my life. So after I got this information, I was still on the fence as to whether the time to move was upon me and so I begged God to make it abundantly clear to me that now is the time. I specifically asked Him for another Los Angeles area employer to contact me regarding a position and reminded God of all of the crazy things people in the Bible asked of Him in order to confirm His will in their lives and how, to the best of my recollection, He always answered these requests. Now, I knew I couldn’t make God answer me, but I sure could plead my best case and I did have an honest desire to know whether or not I was moving within His will and more specifically, whether or not I had His provision. The very next day a film production company in Hollywood contacted me regarding an opportunity. So at this point I know it’s LA or bust and I needed to pick the right roommate option and this time around I simply asked God that if He had a better place for me to live, He needed to bring that place into my life before I finalized a move-in date with one of the three options I mentioned earlier. No, another roommate did not show up, but God brought to mind a lot of positive things about this option and my brother spoke to someone who lives in the area and was told that it is a really nice, safe, family area and great for a newcomer. So at this point you would think I’d feel good about picking up my life and relocating it to Los Angeles, right? Well, wrong. There is another huge piece of the puzzle missing. It is called income. It is important. You know what else is important? Health Insurance. I have applied for an individual policy, but due to that giant C word, I do not know if I will be allowed entry into the health insurance club plus there is the fact that I might not be able to afford the premiums due to that giant C lurking in my past. I find it rather harsh and rude: Congratulations you are a survivor, but please accept our sincerest apologies because if you get it again we will most certainly not help you survive it again! Anyhow, that’s a soapbox for another day. Where was I? Oh, yes, you would think that I would have peace about Los Angeles at this point. After all, God provided immediate confirmations, but I was still freaking out. What can I say? I am human. So my last and final request concerning the whole money issue was that I would have an interview set up in Los Angeles before I leave Memphis in order to confirm that a job is coming my way and soon! Of course, this would also confirm that I would either be able to afford the insurance premiums or be under a group policy in the not too distant future. I have to admit that I felt very wrong making such a request, but I was reminded of the outlandish requests made of God in the Bible by those, who like me, just wanted to make sure they were in God’s will and had His provision. If you haven’t guessed already, I have an interview set up for Tuesday, July 10th with a staffing agency in West Los Angeles. That call came two days after I made the request. So as I drive Interstate Forty west this week I do have an overwhelming peace that I am in God’s will and that I do have His provision and that knowledge makes the trip that much sweeter. I know the first few months are going to be a little rocky, but I have faith built on evidence of God at work in my life that I am going to be just fine. I hope all of my readers that are celebrating this holiday week have a safe and happy 4th of July and if Winston is reading this from over THERE: Stay Safe & Come Visit When You Can!
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If God is still talking… then He hasn’t given up on you yet and if you are a believer in God, then you should know that coincidences are the actual footprints of God in our lives. So with that said, you don’t open up to the same page in a book twice and think nothing of it… at least I don’t. I was actually browsing books for a gift and happened upon a title that caught my eye. I took the book off the shelf, opened it up, appalled at the topic it opened to, shut it quickly and put it back on the shelf. I continued browsing books and eventually came back to the first book. I again, took the book off the shelf, opened it up to the exact same page and thought “Ok, maybe I need to read this” and so I did. As with many stories I have to take you back to the beginning, which would be the prior evening.
I was in bed reading Joel Osteen’s book, It's Your Time. One of the main themes of the book is along the lines of as long as you are doing your best for God, He will create doors where walls once stood. That particular night a sentence jumped out at me. That sentence read: Your attitude determines whether you move forward in God’s divine plan or whether you stay put. The next day while driving home from work I turned the radio dial to 95.7 to hear a daily broadcast from Bishop Brandon Porter. His message that day was in regards to how ‘our little is preparing us for our lot’ and that when God gives us something, whether it be a small thing or a huge thing, we are suppose to make it better than it was before. In other words, we are suppose to do our best for God knowing that there is a reason this task was given to us and not someone else. This reminds me of Steve Jobs when he said you just have to have faith that the dots are going to connect somewhere in the future. Anywho, like I said I was driving home and on the way I stopped by Barnes & Noble to pick up a book for my mother. I was actually planning on picking up Joyce Meyer’s Battlefield of the Mind Devotional, but the store did not have it in stock and so as I browsed the rest of her books my eye immediately fell on Be Anxious For Nothing. After opening up to the same page twice I decided to read that page against my will and it told me that while we are waiting on the Lord we are suppose to bear the fruits of the Spirit and not walk around angry, miserable and defeated. Hmmm…. Right then and there I knew God was really speaking to me. I had recently told Him that while I used to pride myself on being on the scenic route in life that I was no longer enjoying the ride and that I was ready for the direct route. I told Him I had goals that I wanted to accomplish and that I was even interested in having a husband, possibly even a family and a place to call my own where I don’t get attacked for putting too much of my stuff in the fridge. Most of my friends spent their twenties climbing the ropes in their preferred careers whereas I spent my twenties doing everything but my preferred career. My friends are now enjoying the fruit of their labor while I have a whole lot of labor and absolutely no fruit: Nothing to be proud of or enjoy. I feel like I’ve been on a loopty loop for ten years, seriously. Interestingly enough, it was the very day that I said this to God that all of the above began. I personally believe that God is trying to tell me that the key to my getting off of the loopty loop and boarding the express rail is to start producing the fruit of the Spirit and keep producing them no matter what. And I do have to admit that it has been these last ten years of personal and career dissatisfaction that have helped me get rid of the shyness and timidness that plagued me for most of my younger years. In fact, I can say that had I not had these ten years of “ugh” I would not be mentally, emotionally and spiritually ready for where I am headed. I can also say that even though I personally did not care for what I did career wise, I sure did learn a whole lot that I can take with me because everything I’ve done is of the universal kind. From overhauling a human resource department to helping run a utility construction office, I’ve either worked in or been exposed to every possible department within a business and I have a feeling that this experience is what is going to land me my next job only this time I’ll be in a preferred position, within a preferred company and in a preferred industry. I will have gotten off the loopty loop, boarded the express rail and finally be in a position to make something of this life that I am living. But as God has beaten over my head, it all starts with the fruit. Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control…These are the fruits of the spirit and we are to produce them no matter what. Life doesn’t wait to start until you are in your perfect position so neither should your production of spiritual fruit. You just have to know that where you are right now is preparing you for where you are going and once you get there you’ll have the ability to look back and just marvel at how much God knows and just how much we do not. And sense I'm being honest here, I do have to admit that this post was birthed about a month ago and there have been several instances since then where God has tapped me on the shoulder regarding the whole doing your best for Him no matter how much you detest your current circumstances. As far as He is concerned until you are out of those circumstances you are suppose to be doing your best for Him no matter how much you want to burn down that building, shoot that boss or strangle that coworker. And wouldn't you know, here I sit about 8:45 pm on May 30th half listening to Piers Morgan Tonight while reading through this post very aware of a slight stay of execution regarding my move west and BAM! Crap! I mean if I'm going to put something in my blog I should be practicing that which I preach so I am going to do my best from this day forward to be my best in my current so-ready-to-be-out-of-here circumstance until I am actually out of the circumstance and if I happen to find myself in another similar position until I get my footing in Los Angeles, then so be it. I 'll just keep producing spiritual fruit knowing at some point the tides will turn and I will get the personal and career satisfaction I desire. P.S. All praying folk are welcome to pray for traveling mercies as I make my way across the country sometime this month and while you're at it… a job with benefits would be nice too! Love, Light & Laughter to all my readership! “There comes a moment when you have to stop revving up the car and shove it into gear.” – David Mahoney.
Anyone remember that video you saw in biology class? You know the one where a jaguar has two little cubs and the male cub is very active while the female cub is timid and refuses to do anything but hide? Well, for some reason I have always identified myself with that female cub. In the video this female cub’s fear causes her to refrain from activities that would teach her to survive resulting in her becoming someone else’s dinner. From the moment I saw this documentary something inside of me said, “That’s me. And that’s what’s going to happen to me.” Why, I haven’t the slightest idea. There is no proof to back up such a thought, but nonetheless, I have believed and acted upon that very thought for quite some many years. I am now in the process of taking back my God given power. I think I’ve been afraid to make mistakes. Someone I once looked up to spoke about how if we get off our divine paths we would miss the blessings of God. While I think this person probably meant well, I took what they said and allowed it to create a state of fear in me and just like that female cub I chose to simply not. I’ve never had the privilege of being one of those lovely people who practically came out of the womb knowing exactly what they wanted to do with their lives and my timid personality did nothing but prolong the ugly situation. As life would have it I have gotten a well-rounded idea of what I do not like and what I do not want to do with my life by refraining to do and just be. So now I am starting over at the about to be lovely age of thirty-two. Am I scared? Yes. Do I care? Not really. If I want to design a new life for myself and go after my own God given dreams I cannot stay in my current city, as it does not meet my needs. And I have to admit that the prospect of just picking up and moving across the country in the middle of a not so great economy does not sit too well with eighty percent of my being. The other twenty percent, however, is one hundred percent on board with the notion. This whole scenario has me thinking about Abraham and Isaac. I mean if I’m this uncomfortable with the simple notion of moving across the country without a secured job, how much more freaked out was Abraham to take his son up to that alter! Thankfully, for Abraham and Isaac, God only wanted to see the extent of Abraham’s loyalty and never actually intended on making Abraham perform such a sacrifice. That’s pretty much the scenario I’ve been hoping for… However, there are times when God does want us to step out of our comfort zone and do something that we might have zero comfort in doing. But if God does require us to step out of our comfort zone or go through something unpleasant we can be sure He has a reason for asking us to do so. I have found that God usually uses such experiences to teach us something about ourselves, about Him or both. Take the very well known tale by the name of Alice in Wonderland, for example. Alice struggled with doing what everyone told her she ought to do versus living life by her own rule book and following her heart. During her trip to Wonderland she yet again gets confronted with everyone trying to tell her who she is and what she is supposed to do only this time she was being told things she couldn’t begin to believe about herself or her own ability and it was not until she remembered who her father was that she realized who she really was and finally harnessed her own power. Drawing a parallel between Alice in Wonderland and God might seem a bit odd, but just like Alice, once you and I realize just who our spiritual Father is, we will recognize that we too have the power to make our own God-given dreams a reality. Will there be fear? Yes, but one thing I’ve learned you can always count on is this: God will either provide the way or walk with you hand in hand the entire way through. So, if you, like myself, are about to embark on a journey that you know you must make, but feel a bit overwhelmed concerning those darn what-if thoughts… Well, take heart. God has a plan to either supernaturally supply what you need like He did for Abraham or He will walk beside you the entire way while imparting His wisdom to boot. Either way, if you keep close to God and keep moving forward you will reach your destination and come into your own destiny and I know I will too. |
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